Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

PARENTING: Try "Incredible Years" for Developing Better Parenting Skills

There are many different good therapy programs for kids who are dealing with emotional issues. Some of the best programs are evidence-based, which means that gobs of research has been done that shows its effectiveness with bona fide children!

One of the best programs for children and parents is called Incredible Years, and it was developed by Dr. Carolyn Webster Stratton in Seattle. For more information, check out the official website - and I am not a paid spokesperson, I promise! Link: http://incredibleyears.com/.

IN THE NEWS: Pennsylvania School Stabbing

What a day in the news. Such a horrible tragedy that occurred today at a school where so many people were wounded. What concerns me the most  is that these school-based attacks will only become more frequent. The copycat effect is so powerful, especially when it comes to the need to be recognized and seen as powerful, having an identity - and that's usually the need that motivates such out-of-the-blue, violent behavior.

Parents: If your kids heard about what happened, take a few minutes and talk about how awful things sometimes happen that we can't control. Remind them, as well, that good, consistent relationships can provide a lot of reassurance in a world that often feels scary and difficult.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Dr. Seth's Bookshelf: Where'd You Go, Bernadette?

I loved first half of the book, but the second half was a huge disappointment, succumbing to the notion that readers need a fairy tale happy ending. The truth? Sometimes moms leave, and sometimes they stay but never, ever recover. That would be Bernadette. If she were to have lost herself to that clinical a degree, she wouldn't be retuning to rosy life so soon after. I am disappointed that Maria Semple fell into clich├ęs by the book's end. Bernadette was much too complex for simple resolutions. The character herself wouldn't have wanted the ending drawn so simply, either!

My guess: Semple was pushed by her agent or editor to make it rosier, and that forced the book in an inauthentic direction. It is frustrating and confusing to spend many hours with a book you love, only to reach the last third and feel like another author wrote the ending. Maybe Semple's next book won't have such hasty resolution. Here's to hoping.

Friday, March 21, 2014

RELATIONSHIPS: When Beautiful Men Date Less Attractive Women

I must confess: this issue drives me full-on bonkers, the kind of bonkers that has me pulling my hair out and stubbing my toe at the very same time. I'm talking about hearing-Katy-Perry-for-the millionth-time bonkers. (Sorry, Katy, but your music really does push me over the edge).

Okay, back to the good stuff. I'm talking about the so-called phenomenon of a beautiful man dating or even marrying a so-called unattractive woman. I'm sure some examples come to mind, perhaps some famous or some in your very own neighborhood. In a nutshell, I can assure you that the goal should be to not even notice such discrepancies.

When I hear people often comment on how it doesn't make sense why a gorgeous guy would be with an ugly girl, it tells me that this person places far too much importance on physical appearance. In other words, because the guy is attractive, he is seen as more valuable; the girl, meanwhile, is seen as less than because she's not starting fires in the looks department.

If I see couples together and happen to notice that one is markedly more attractive than the other, I imagine that the less attractive partner is probably pretty damn cool and interesting. Ever spoken to someone beautiful, by the way, who doesn't seem to have much going on upstairs? Great, you see my point.

I spend most of my time counseling clients and writing about relationship issues, and the bulk of it is spent trying to help people see that the characteristics they should be focusing on romantically are the internal ones - not the external. I'm talking about how committed, honest, and kind someone is. As long as you're focused on this, you'll be just fine.

Bottom Line: The next time you see a gorgeous guy with a girl you believe isn't his equal in the appearance department, remember that everyone's taste is different and that what matters the most is finding someone who is genuinely interesting, someone who you actually care what they have to say! The truth is, with each passing year, looks will matter less and less to you - and that's the way it should be.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

SEX: Spring Break Sex Dangers

It's time for Spring Breaks at colleges and universities, and millions of young adults will set off on Spring Break to party, party, party. The risk for sexual assault and risky sex and substance abuse behavior skyrockets during Spring Break when young men and women let loose. 

Young women, in particular, need to be aware of how drinking or drug-taking can seriously increase their risk for being assaulted or engaging in sexual behavior that has physical effects (not demanding the man wear a condom) and psychological effects (under the influence, making sexual and drug-taking decisions they later regret). 

Scary statistic: According to a study in the International Journal of STDs and AIDS, 26% of males and 36% of females reported having sex without a condom with someone they met on Spring Break (2002). Parents and university professors should make sure to talk to these young men and women about the way intoxication can skew decision-making and the need to be more vigilant about physical safety than usual. 

Saturday, March 1, 2014


I was interviewed for a new story about how men often share more emotionally online than they do in person. It's an interesting article and you can check it out here: http://healthland.time.com/2014/02/24/why-men-hide-their-feelings-behind-social-media/#comments.